Day 35: Yoga fixes everything.

I read yesterday in Michelle’s Challenge Blog something that made me really think. She opened one of her recent posts with the statement. Yoga fixes everything… if you let it. She’s right, really right. I know this to be true for myself in so many ways.

I’ve had a tumultuous week emotionally, dealing with a bunch of personal stuff that I won’t get into here. Thursday I stayed off the mat because I was trying to cope with something particularly painful, but looking back I should have gone. I don’t always want to get on the mat. The times that I fight it the most, those are the times I need it the most. It’s not the easy classes that change us. It’s not the mornings I wake up excited for yoga that carve out new territory for me emotionally and physically. It’s the ones where I feel like sleeping, staying in bed, and hiding out.

The truth for me is that this practice, in all its joys and pains, has completely changed me inside and out. This yoga has affected everything I do and the way I relate to the world. But I have to let it change me. I have to let it fix me. I’ve been good about getting on the mat even when I’m not excited about it. But now I have to remember that sometimes it’s not just getting on the mat, but letting. Letting the practice change me. Letting the heat and the work and the sweat clear things away. Letting those prayer beads of sweat work for me.

It’s interesting for me. I have never had any problem believing that Bikram Yoga heals the body. I’ve never had any problem believing the miracles that happen with chronic disease, health problems, illness, injuries. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. In many ways, I have also always believed this yoga can fix emotional imbalances too. It cured my depression and has given me greater mental clarity than I have ever had. But it’s often harder for me to believe that this yoga can fix the pains of our life, stresses of relationships, and all the things we carry around day to day. Ultimately, it can and it does. I know this to be true today. It’s not always easy to stand there, 90 minutes of looking at yourself in your vulnerability, and understand the depth of change. But it’s happening. If we let it.

Today was my 40th class, taught by Arnie. It was awesome and I feel wonderful. 2/3rds of the way home. Advanced tomorrow. See you again soon.

Namaste.