Day 46: Another day off the mat.

Today my mantra is this:

Trust the process, trust the process, trust the process.. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..

I am talking about two things, my 90 Day challenge and Teacher Training. Both of which are consuming my life right now. I am so blessed, and so amazed at how well all of this is going. But, I’ve had some moments of paralyzing fear as well. Not so much about the challenge. But more about going to Mexico in eight weeks. I mean, eight weeks.. Really, not that long. And I have SO MUCH to do before I go. So much. This is the control freak in me that needs to take a nap, and go away. I need to let go. I need to trust the process.

I’m off the mat again. Still not feeling well. And as I have told many of you, I think rest is paramount for me at this point to doing class. I can’t afford to wear out my body in any way this close to my departure. And since I am so far ahead, I have full confidence I will still finish my 90 days.

I can do this.

I had a hard day yesterday. I had a little bit of a panic attack. This is a huge deal for me, leaving my life behind for two months. I’ve never left my kids for this long, never been away from Dave for this long, never done anything like this since I got married for this long. I’ve gone away before, but never like this. This is brand new for me. And it’s scary as hell. I’m not going to lie. I’m tough, I believe in myself, I know I can do it. But it scares me. It scares me enough to make me work that much harder. Courage is only active in lieu of our fears anyway, right? Without fear, what would we need courage for? Nothing, that’s what.

So tomorrow I will get up and hopefully take class. I will move forward on this Training Application and put it in the mail. I will say a prayer of thanksgiving for the blessings in my life and I will remember how much support is all around me. I will trust the process and know that I can do this.

Namaste