November 13, 2009
I’m here. Yet, maybe not.
Hi my name is Karen and I do Bikram Yoga. I also teach Bikram Yoga. Basically I live, eat, sleep, shower and dream Bikram Yoga.
I haven’t been bloggin’. Sure you’ve noticed, right? Haven’t you? I haven’t been writing. But I’ve been practicing, and I for sure have been teaching. I’ve also been doing Aikibudo, but that’s for later on. Let’s get back to the practicing.
Yes, practice. Sri Pattabhi Jois says, practice and all is coming. I am no great interpreter of words, but I think he’s basically saying what Bikram always says, get your shit together and just do the posture. Do the yoga, do the class, just do.. it. Practice, practice, practice.
Is it really that easy? Is it really as easy as showing up, unrolling the mat, and then doing.. it?? Yes, it is. It’s just that easy. Yo-ga is easy. Asana, Pranayama.. it’s easy, right? Maybe. Some days it certainly feels easy. Some days I’d rather stay in bed with a TV remote and a cup of hot chocolate. Some yogini I am, right?
I find myself reflective this week. Our studio just finished hosting a huge event, including the state yoga championships. I was, well, involved with that. I’ve had several amazing friends in town recently. I’m also rapidly approaching my one year teaching anniversary. The train is picking up speed on this whole yoga thing. And when I look in the mirror, I still see someone I don’t quite recognize. Who is that girl? I teach with reasonable confidence, and I usually know every single person’s name in my class. Who is that girl again?? So, I’m pensive all over again.
I’ve maintained a pretty darned disciplined practice in spite of the momentum of life. My kids are growing up so fast, my husband is nearing the end of his Master’s degree, life is so good. I love teaching. The room is my refuge many days. Whether I’m behind the mic or on the mat. I just love it. The yogini is still there.
Six months ago I started practicing Aikibudo. I have at my disposal an incredible sensei and we train twice a week. It’s a long story, but the budo is such a part of who I am now that I can’t remember exactly what it was like before I was doing it. The yoga practice and the budo practice compliment one another in amazing ways.
I’m grateful, that’s the bottom line. I’m grateful and I have to laugh a little bit sometimes that I get away with having such a cool life. I mean seriously?? Family, yoga, budo, friends.. That’s my life and my work? Wow.
I can’t believe I’ve been teaching for almost a year. I can’t believe I’ve been doing budo for six months. I can’t believe that in general my biggest concern when I get up in the morning is how I’m going to juggle my practice(s) around my teaching job.
So when I get to my mat (either one) and I feel a little tired or a little grumpy, I’m drawn back to that gratitude. I chose this life. I chose to pursue yoga, teaching and most recently budo. I chose to walk the path. I’m stronger, healthier, wiser, and more courageous because of it. All I have to do is practice. Just do the practice – and all is coming.