Can’t believe that today is really day 60 and I didn’t even go to class!!! Not to worry friends, I’m doing just fine. I did, however do my first ever Posture Clinic! Wow, what an interesting experience that was. I learned SO MUCH about delivering the Dialog and I feel better about continuing to learn it.

Anyway, I did write a great post on my personal blog which I want you all to read. So go over to my other blog and read my latest post.

More tomorrow.

Namaste!

Day 58: Softening

July 28, 2008

Bikram Yoga has a reputation for being “tough.” It’s often described as brutal, the Torture Chamber of yoga. It is. It’s hot, it’s hard. That’s all very true. But what I was reminded of earlier today as I read Sean’s reply to yesterday’s post is that it’s not all about the hard. It’s not always about locking, kicking, pushing, and tightening. Yoga is about union, balance, and the equal and simultaneous contradictions of movement in life.

Today as I went to class I focused on the opposites. I focused on letting go instead of holding tighter. I worked to soften myself. It was a tremendous experiment and I found some amazing things in my body. This is only further adding to my journey of letting go. I held Triangle without the usual strain, I kicked my leg up farther in Standing Bow, and experienced a deeper Camel. All the while, I felt a softening of my body, and of my mind. When my body said to stop, I stopped. When my body wanted more, I gave it more. And in that softening, I had a deeper class than usual. It seems silly to have to tell yourself to listen to your body. It seems that I should know this, being the yogini that I am. But even I need reminders.

Sean finished his comment with this.

Every now and then, you gotta bend that knee. God put it there for a reason

I am sure he knows the implication of this for me. Bikram Yoga constantly demands that we “Lock the KNEE!” Again and again, over and over. LOCK IT LOCK IT LOCK IT! This very well may be the most common command in the entire series. However, Sean is right. Every now and then, I have to bed, soften, become malleable. Not just in my knee. The knee becomes the metaphor for me. In the room, on the mat, I lock it. I push, I work, I LOCK MY KNEE!! But there are times when I let it go and take the fall. Even on the mat. If I am kicking up in Standing Bow and my standing leg buckles, I take the fall. The fall is the result of the softening. And often I am tempted to view the falling out as the “consequence” of not following direction. However, the fall is just as important as the kick. The fall teaches me limits, balance, and where and how I need to work harder. The fall reminds me that Yoga is a practice, not a destination.

I appreciate these kinds of lessons. There is a time to lock our knee, and a time to bend it. There is a time to soften, to listen, to wait, and to let things go. I feel better tonight. Today I was able to observe the next six or so weeks with a different mindset. A softer focus. Maybe that alone is my yoga.

Namaste

I’ve been studying my Dialog pretty regularly. This evening when I went to class I arrived at the same time as Desy. Desy is going to Training in the Fall. She’s hysterical and I love talking to her. We had some good laughs about Bikram’s fickle Dialog. We both agreed that it’s easier to recall all those words when you’re with someone else. We sat down and laughed at the mistakes we had made as we tried to recall it in the bathroom before class.

But the truth is that the Dialog is pivotal to the series. I’ve been trying to listen more to it as I do class lately. Of course, I listen every day. But there’s something about listening with the ear of “hey I am going to learn this..” that makes it different.

I had a great, strong class tonight. Feeling better and better..

Goodnight!