September 20, 2008
Wow, it’s really over. Week one is really over. It’s hard to believe that, but also SUCH a great feeling.
So I’ve been trying to just be really present and honest and open the past week. I’m not overdoing it with blogging or journaling. I love sharing with you all, I really do. And I’ve been doing the best I can to give you the big details. But, honestly, I kind of like keeping this experience a little bit to myself. I have so many different emotions moment to moment. It’s impossible to keep up with all of them. It’s really true that you are up one minute and down the next here. It changes so fast and sometimes you have no idea where it comes from. Like a ship in the night. But I’ll try to sum up the past week for you guys, my faithful readers.
First of all, WOW, this entire facility is incredible. The hotel staff are amazingly friendly, it’s so clean, so beautiful, and it’s such a comfort when you literally crawl out of the hot cave and see them around smiling at you. The sweet lady that cleans my room everyday always lines up my shoes and puts my slippers tucked under my bedskirt. She also lines up the limes on my dresser. Little things, people. It doesn’t take much. The food is great, and I’m NOT sick of it yet. Pretty good variety doesn’t hurt. I got a good look at the spa today and later I’m going to get a pedicure. Yeah, my feet have been through a lot this week and this is one luxury I am affording myself. Also, how awesome is it that we have laundry service? It’s pretty cheap too, and SO nice not to have to wash out all those Shakti shorts and bras. Little things, little things.
For those of you waiting for pictures, they’re coming. Not today though. Soon. I’ve been a little stingy with pictures because it’s so time consuming to upload. But they’re coming. Be patient.
Anyway, the place is amazing and the pool is the most amazing heaven when your sore aching body wants to cool off. Still no beach. Later.
We have been hustling through Half Moon dialogue all week. Still a lot of peole left to give theirs. I’m not sure what they’ll do this week with it, but it will all get done. Basically everyone here says their first posture dialogue in front of Bikram. It’s just how it’s done. With 310 people, you do the math, it’s SO time consuming. But it’s fine, and listening to it is a great way to be sure you know it well. So here it’s basically class, eat, lecture, class, eat, lecture. Rinse and repeat. I totally already feel the “Groundhog Day” thing. I’m in a pattern I like and it’s good. The weekend is a nice respite.
So, how’s the yoga? Wow. That’s almost all I can say (almost). I heard someone tell me coming to Teacher Training is like starting ALL over again with this yoga. They’re not kidding. I’ve had 10 classes already! I can’t even believe that!! TEN in six days. Wow. Every class has been so different and I’d be lying if I told you I could remember them all and how I felt. I can’t. But I do feel overall it’s getting easier to go down into the room and face myself. You have no idea what a mental hospital that room is. Wow, when you practice in a regular studio, I think you feel it a little bit. But being here, in the HUUUUGE room (you saw it!) it is so different. I’ve had every emotion possible. Today was my strongest class so far. I stayed up for the whole class, did every set of every posture, worked hard, and only drank water during the water breaks. Now for those of you not steeped in this yoga, that’s a good thing. Right now, everything is about my brain. I’ve had a little physical discomfort this week. But overall, I have to get my brain to shut up. My mind is constantly chattering. Here’s a little conversation I had in a class taught the other day by Ulysses who owns the Mexico CIty studio:
I can’t do this. Why am I here? Why is everyone so damn happy??
Shut up Karen.
No, this is too hot. Too humid, too hard. I want out.
Shut up Karen.
If I die right here they’ll have to shut the whole show down to drag me out.
Shut up, it’s not that bad.
Why are my arms shaking? Why do I feel cold? Why is my skin clammy?
Who in GOD’S green earth thought I’d be able to survive this?
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Ok, breathe. OK. I’m OK. I’m OK. Oh look, Spine Twist, class is almost over.
I then spent about 20 minutes on my mat weeping like a little baby after they turned the lights off. You have no idea. These conversations go on daily. Oy.
So, the room. HOLY SHIT it’s big. Something crazy like 15 or so mat rows. It holds over 500 sweaty bodies and is apparently the biggest Bikram Torture Chamber on this planet. Hallelujah, and I get to live in it for the next 8 weeks. EIGHT! Can you believe it? ONLY EIGHT MORE!! The first night, when Bikram taught the first class, I could have passed out with disorientation. So many people, so huge, so humid, so hot… Save me. But now, a week in, it doesn’t feel as big. I feel like I’ve gotten my bearings with that hot cave. The room, the hot cave, the torture chamber, the dungeon. You pick a name, vote, I’ll stick with it. I have a feeling when I go home, I’m going to feel like our beautiful orange room is so small. The energy flows and sometimes it’s like fresh air and sometimes it’s like a tidal wave of hell. You never know. I try to just be open to whatever is coming, but you can almost feel it before the teacher even gets up on the box. I’m only responsible for my energy. What a relief. I treasure the feeling though, I treasure the sound of 400 some bodies taking that first breath in Pranayama. Like one million locusts (according to Boss). It’s incredible. Oh and nothing sounds sweeter than the click of the lights going off after the final breathing. Click, click, click click click…. Hallelujah, I’m still alive and the class is done. At least for a few hours.
So far I’ve only had to watch ONE Balliwood movie. I have a feeling more are on the way. Oh yes, laaate nights with Boss are ahead. Can’t wait for that. Oh and in case you’re confused Boss is Bikram. Bikram is Boss. You are Boss, I am Boss. You get it? Yeah? OK good.
I’ve made lots of friends and as I said before my roommate is SO great. I have a buddy, Renee, a fellow Texan, who’s been my main buddy here. She practices in Austin and she’s one hot chica. If you’re lucky I’ll post a picture of her for you to see.
I’m going to go nap before my pedicure and then go to the pool. Weep for me, right?
Thank you all SO much for your comments and emails and all. You are my breath of fresh air. I love you all. Namaste!
September 14, 2008
I will take some video of my room and the hotel tomorrow. This place is AMAZING, and soooo big. But of course, I wanted to see the ROOM. So here she is, our beloved hot room, in all her glory. HUUUUGE!!!
As I expected, I feel better now that I’m here at the Fairmont (or Princess, as the locals call it).
This is just outside the building where the Torture Chamber is. I was SOOOO happy, betcha I won’t be this happy in a few days.
I promise you all more pictures and more tomorrow. I am going to enjoy a little time alone tonight.
Thanks and much love to you all!!!