Day 74: 90 Done!

I am a day late getting this posted.  But yesterday was so, well… long that I went to bed early and decided to leave this blog until today.

I finished!!  I did it!  90 Bikram Yoga classes done!  I also, DID, actually do the 11 classes in five days that I talked about back on Friday.  And let me tell you, five straight days of doubles was something else.

This Challenge has been less about can I do it than the last one and more about how I do it.  In class I hear all the time stomach stomach stomach!!!!  But in my mind, I hear, attitude attitude attitude!!!!  In fact, the entire thing has been much more emotional than physical for me.  This is not to say I have not literally worked my ass off, but so much more of it has been internal.  I know I can do the yoga.  Clearly, I can do the yoga.  But the real question and yes, challenge, was – and still is – Can I do the yoga without complaining??  Can I do the yoga when my mind is screaming?  Can I do the yoga when I have a million things on my mind?  Can I let it go and do the class?  Can I release my control on stuff and do it?  Can I get through a class without whining about my back?  Can I choose to be thankful?  Can I do it with a smile?

Nobody’s perfect.

I’ve surely whined, complained, obsessed, and been far less than thankful.  You’ve seen it here on the blog.  But what I am taking away from this is where I am today.  Today am I closer to that ideal.  Today I am smiling, thankful, and resolved.  Today I am 90 classes stronger.

Daren asked me yesterday, Now what? Well, the truth is that nothing really changes.  I will, of course, keep going to class.  I will keep journaling here and chronicaling my journey through this yoga and Teacher Training.  I’ll sort of miss the countdown of classes, the feeling of pusing through, and the adrenaline of it all.  But even as bittersweet as that is, I look forward to giving my body a rest.  I need to learn Dialog, spend time with my family, and focus on the next month of my life here at home.  And yes, one month is all that I have left.

Last night as I was winding down my day, I became frustrated with something going on here at home and just lost my temper.  I got into the shower and let the hot water soak into my skin.  It was there that I craved my yoga mat.  I craved the space, the heat, the work.  Crazy, as I was literally exhausted.  But I recognized the yoga as my outlet.  It’s my solace and my release from the junk in life.  I take this as a sign of how far I have come.  Yoga is not a chore, it’s not a task to tick off of my list.  Yoga is a basic function of my day.  90 minutes on my mat.  Me and the mirror, the heat, and the postures.  That’s all I need.  And for that, I am truly thankful.

Namaste

Day 73: Nearly there.

Today was my fourth straight day of doubles.  Tomorrow I will finish my 90.  It’s a little bittersweet.  I’m really going to miss marking classes off on my sheet every day.  Ah well, plenty of time to be emotinal tomorrow after class.

Today I had Alisa Matthews, the current Women’s Yoga World Champion for both classes.  She and Ball Rattanapong, the current Male Champion, are both teaching at BYTW this week.  It was nice to have a new teacher and to have her.  She’s lovely and I really liked her class.

I’m kinda worn out, so I am going to cut this one short.  I will write a nice, long, squishy blog tomorrow

Goodnight!

Day 72: Something different.

I’m sure you guys are sick and tired of hearing me prattle on and on about yoga. So, I’ve put a video here for you instead. The only real connection this has to my Challenge is that this song often runs through my head during class. Enjoy! 86/90

Day 71: Let it go.

I’m not nearly as exhausted as I expected to be this afternoon. In fact, I feel, great. Weird, but also, great 😉

I have a sore knee. I am not happy about this. But it kinda stands to reason something of this nature would come up. At least my back isn’t sore. Have I mentioned that my back has been sore?? Well, it has, and now it’s not. I guess these things travel. Like a ship in the night, right Jen?? Something like that.

So, this isn’t really BIG news of any kind. It’s more of a very elementary yoga lesson. But here it is, and you get to hear it. I’m laying there, after Advanced class this afternoon. I’d done three and a half hours of yoga and I was sitting there, counting. Counting classes, hours, what was left, what I had done, etc… And then I just let it go. I said, “who cares??” Who really cares about hours, classes, days, all of that? Who cares? Well, I care. I do. But funny enough, the more I care, the more it plagues me. The doubles haven’t been bad. In fact, the doubles are just doubles. I’m finding that this yoga isn’t a chore. It’s not a task, it’s just part of life. At some point, you stop thinking about how much you’re doing and just DO it. You stop counting, stop thinking and just do it. Of course, since I’m on this Challenge, I am counting classes. I don’t intend to stop counting. But I can stop quantifying for myself what I have done. I can stop worrying and plotting and keeping detailed account. I can let it go and just do the yoga.

My 90 will be over soon. I will be done with this Challenge. But, as Jen and I discussed, it’s never over. I’ll never really be done. Yoga isn’t about a destination, it’s a journey. And at the risk of sounding truly sentimental, I believe the journey is what teaches us about life.

So, yes, I am closer to being done. Six more to go. But who’s counting??

Day 70: Only today.

I don’t really feel like writing a blog tonight. I guess that’s probably not the news you all wanted to hear, is it? But here I am, and it’s not even that late, so I will write. I’m going to be up front with you guys. I am completely exhausted.. I will be really glad when this Yoga Marathon ends. Just being honest. It’s been an incredible journey and I wouldn’t trade it for anything (not even the sleep I missed for all those early classes), BUT mamma is tired.

I had two really solid classes today. And now, I have only 9 classes left. NINE! Nine classes to go until I finish. That’s a single digit number! Tomorrow, I will be down to six. This is getting real, folks.

Zeb said something today that has stuck with me all day. While my paraphrase is likely far from the actual words he spoke, the truth remains.. The past and the future can never feel like today. Today is truly all we have. RIGHT NOW is really all we have. And even with as much as I love to look to the future, I still only have this day, this moment. I can look ahead to Training. I do all the time. I get anxious and excited and nervous daily about the future. But no matter how amazing the past or future has been or is, all I have is today. Only today.

Tomorrow is going to be a very full day. I have regular class and Advanced. I will try to write a more detailed blog tomorrow.

Namaste.

Day 69: So close!!!

Every time I take a class, I check off a class on my challenge sheet. It’s still hanging on the board there with the others that have long been abandoned. Mine has now been turned over and a new list is running down the back of all my extra classes. I am SO close. 11 more classes to go. Tonight I am posing the challenge to myself to finish this in the next five days. Can Ren do 11 classes in five days?? If I double every day between now and Wednesday, including Advanced on Sunday I can. I’ve always wanted to finish this Challenge this way. Hard to believe it’s finally here. I can do it. I know it.

I had a great class with Nada this afternoon – her last at BYTW (for now). I am very very sad to see her go. I have learned a lot from her and she’s so encouraging. One day, I’ll go to Sonoma and teach for her. This is the great circle of life. After class I went to Lululemon for a fun event. I got to hang out with my yoga friends and we were all dry and dressed in street clothes!! Miracle!!!

Anyway, tomorrow starts my Double Marathon. If you are so inclined, say a little prayer for my spine. I’ve never done more than three days of consecutive double classes. This will be a first for me. Good preparation for Training, though.

‘Nite

Day 68 Part 2: Another double and sweating it out.

Well kiddies, I went back for a double tonight. It was a great great class. I struggled in Triangle a little, with my feet literally slipping out from under me. coughthecarpetwaswetfrombeingcleanedcough… Uhhh.. Not that it should matter. But they were really.. slipping… out from under me.

SO! Onwards and upwards!

Hi, my name is Karen, and I sweat like a MAN! And no, not just any man, a SWEATY MAN! Thanks, yes, I’ll stay away now. Woweeee did I sweat tonight. I don’t usually like to wax philosophical about sweat but OMGHOLYMOLY did it pour off of me tonight. See and here’s the thing, I actually like it. Yes, yes.. I do. I LIKE it. I like the way it feels to flush my body hardcore and when it’s over I feel brand new, my skin literally glowing. So I’ve had TWO very very sweaty classes today and I’m just way too happy about the amount of sweating I did, apparently.

Forgive me, I’m a little loopy. It’s late, I need to eat, and oh yeah I just might be high on yoga. Might be. Stay tuned.

Oh and the backbend. Well… I have to say, not as awesome as earlier today. But I did feel I could breathe deeper and stay longer. So, there’s progress.

I will see you party people tomorrow.

Namaste 😉

Day 68: A long class and special thanks to Mary Jarvis.

Well, first of all, I am not sore. I went to bed SO incredibly sore I was near weeping when I pulled my aching frame under the sheets. But something happened between 11 pm and 7 am and I woke up with zero soreness anywhere. Really. I was so done with it yesterday evening that I told myself that if I woke up feeling stiff again, I was taking a day off. Nothing, not even a tight hamstring today. This yoga works, believe it.

Arnie taught 9:30 today. I haven’t been in that class in a while, but I love it. There’s so much energy in the room. There are a lot of “regulars” there every day. I took my new favorite spot and had a good class. It was HUMID to the max and my body moved well. I am thinking maybe taking it easy on myself yesterday paid off today. I was able to work a bit deeper than I have in a few days. Anyhow, boy was it a long one. Arnie taught a one hour, 49 minute class. I was feeling it by the end. I had a hard time in the first set of Ustrasana and ended flat on my back for fear of blacking out. I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t especially overheated or nauseas. But I couldn’t get myself even into the setup without the room seeming to spin. Second set was awesome and I felt that really killer stretch all the way up and down my body. So good.

So, since I’m always looking to educate myself further about my practice, this yoga, and all things Bikram, I have a special thanks to give today. Social networks are amazing things. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Myspace – they all bring us closer together. I think the Bikram world especially is tight in the virtual world. And since I never pass up an opportunity to live my life on the web, I really love it. I had the amazing opportunity recently to “converse” with Mary Jarvis on Facebook. Mary is the founder and owner of Global Yoga San Francisco. She is also a deeply respected name in the Bikram world. Mary offered me some fresh insights into my backbends. Since the Challenge began I have had a love/hate relationship with all things backward bending. But recently I’ve been having some discouragement and frustration with my backbends. Since Mary is all about the backbends I asked her for her insights. She gave them to me. My life and my spine will never be the same. Mary encouraged me to try some new things, do a few things differently and GO FOR IT!!!! I’ve been working on it. Today I finally felt it in the third part of Half Moon. I finally felt the zen of the backbend. I’ve heard about it. I’ve read about it. I’ve wished for it. Today I got it. And yes, Mary, I did squeeze the shit out of my hands! So, Mary, thank you. Thanks for encouraging and instructing, even from far away. You are a legend, and I long to meet you one day. Eventually, in the future. 😉

I’m considering a double today. I’ll keep you posted.

77/90

Day 67: Everything for a reason…

I’m having a hard day. I have an edge that won’t ease.

Class this morning was equally wonderful and torturous for me. I had a great class last night where I worked really hard. Apparently all that hard work only served to make me extra sore. I told Sheila after class this morning that I didn’t “pull” at all during class. My spine was tight and sore again. All over again. Sore. I’m sick of it.

I’m also carrying the shared grief of a friend’s loss. It’s tough for me to express how I feel when I hear a dear friend is losing their mother. So suddenly life is taken. So sad, even from a distance.

I don’t mean to sound grumpy. But the truth is that I feel down and this is my place to talk about this crazy journey I am on, so there it is. I’m saddened, sore, and edgy. That’s the Karen you get today. I’ve been working on more planning for Teacher Training. I’m not sure I’m in the best place to do it, but it has to get done. It’s getting so close now that I am starting to really see it. In six weeks I’ll be in Acapulco, and no longer sitting here in the comfort of my home. Time is passing faster and faster. I’m starting to realize things like the fact that I will miss Eli’s birthday, Simon’s birthday, and my wedding anniversary while I am gone. Nine weeks is both forever and not time at all.

So that’s me. Sorry for the disjointed post. I’m in a weird place.

If you are so inclined, say a prayer for the Simon family. They could use it.

Namaste

Day 66: Decisions.

I have 39 days until I leave for Teacher Training. That’s not much. I have 15 more classes to go to reach my goal of 90. I have 25 or so days to complete those 15. I know, this is all very complicated math, and it’s late. But the point is this, I will finish my 90 for sure. The question is, how will I go about it? I’ve been considering doubling up for a week to see how it feels. This is how I will practice in Acapulco. Five days of doubles Monday through Friday and one class on Saturday. Off on Sunday. I have had been offered varying points of view on doing this much yoga so close to my Training. I know that I will need a break just prior to going to Mexico. But I have a taste for finishing this Challenge, and I want to do it. I believe in my body and how strong I am. I know, also, that I need rest and time to replenish before I go to bootcamp.

So, I guess I’m just talking through this for myself. Right now, I am going to just keep going. Do what I can do and let things happen as they will happen. This is how I have faced my Challenges anyway. I believe that things fall into place the way they are supposed to. I have rested when my body has demanded it a few times since June 1. I have taken deep care of my health these 66 days of Yoga. I have been careful. And at the end of the day I believe that my body will show up for me. It already has.

I had a wonderful class tonight with Nada. I felt amazingly strong and my body was really open. I felt that wonderful blessed ease of a class that just happens. I worked very hard and felt better than ever at the end. I love classes like that. They remind me why I love this yoga so much.

I am off to bed. Tomorrow I have early early yoga. See you all on the other side.

Namaste