Day 36 and 37: Open your heart.

I wasn’t able to write yesterday evening. So I’m combining the past two days (again).

I took Advanced yesterday as well as Regular class and it was great. Today I got up early for 5:30 class and felt awesome. Much less sore than usual after Advanced.

I think my lesson for the past two days is a simple one, something I hear all the time in class. Open your heart. I’ve been working through some emotional stuff lately. Yesterday in Advanced it kinda all came up for me. I have surrendered to the fact that the mat is the best place for me to leave this stuff. I don’t always like it, but at least it’s a safe place. I’ve been dealing with myself so much in the room. My reflection, my mind, my frustration. I’m just now learning to really surrender to it. Listen to my self, but be separate from it. Let it go, and open my heart. Let it be what it will be.

There’s tremendous clarity to be found when we allow the things that must be allowed and let go of the things that we don’t need. By opening my heart, I am beginning this allowing, this process of opening up completely. It hasn’t been easy for me. There’s tremendous vulnerability and exposure in opening yourself up like that. Admitting where you’ve hurt people you love, admitting your weaknesses, working harder, and pushing through. But ultimately never giving up. Sometimes surrender is seen as weakness. A wise friend of mine once said our vulnerabilities are our greatest asset. We must learn them, master them, and appreciate them.

I’m going back and forth a lot lately between feeling like I’m starting to understand this yoga at its core and feeling totally new to it all over again. Every day is different. But by opening up and allowing it to change me, I feel safe in my transitions.

Namaste.